Building new friendships as an adult can be challenging, often leaving us feeling awkward and uncomfortable. Personally, I’ve found it increasingly difficult as I grow older and become more set in my ways. However, I’ve discovered that books can serve as a great icebreaker and conversation starter. Every reader loves recommendations and being asked for their own. Whenever I saw book club gatherings online, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of envy. How did people find these clubs? Is there a book on how to start a book club? Did they randomly approach strangers in bookstores? Intrigued, I embarked on a journey to find a book club when I relocated to Minneapolis in 2017, as I sought to connect with more women.
To my surprise, there was no magical list of book clubs complete with bios, allowing me to assess compatibility before dealing with awkward introductions. Undeterred, I decided to take a different approach. After collaborating with a few friends, we managed to devise a formula that worked. Now that I find myself daydreaming about book clubs again, I thought I’d revisit the topic and share our process with others, in case it can help you too.
How to Start a Book Club
1. Think of a good friend who loves books.
Connect with a person in your existing circle whom you feel comfortable with and who shares your passion for reading (or reads a similar amount). This person should also be excited about the idea of how to start a book club and be willing to contribute to the organization and planning.
2. Each of you should find another friend to bring in.
Search through your contacts and invite one additional person. You don’t have to know each other’s invitees, but simply find someone who enjoys reading and is open to joining a book club.
3. Increase the tree by one more branch.
At this point, you will have four people. Once again, have the entire group invite one more person from their own circles. These individuals could be coworkers, neighbors, acquaintances from mom groups, etc. Don’t worry if you can’t think of someone right away. In my experience, the ideal book club consists of around 8 people, as scheduling conflicts may arise for some.
4. Invite the group to an introduction event.
Once your group is assembled, organize a casual gathering like a happy hour or coffee chat where everyone can meet. You can use tools like the Doodle app to determine which calendar dates work best for everyone. Ask each person to bring one or two book suggestions for the club. It’s likely that no one in your group is an expert on how to start a book club, so you can explain how everyone came together.
5. Put focus into those initial introductions.
On the day of the gathering, ensure that the original group arrives a few minutes early so that newcomers will have someone familiar to meet. Provide food and drinks, and take some time to introduce yourselves. In our club, we did group introductions for the first three meetings to avoid anyone having to ask, “What was your name again?”
6. Determine book selection process.
Share your book suggestions and see if anyone strongly objects to any of them. Write down all the good recommendations on slips of paper and draw two or three from a hat. These will be your first few books. Decide whether you want the person who suggested each book to host the corresponding month, or if you prefer a different system. In our case, we took turns based on availability and the time of year. Some members had wonderful backyards for summer meetings, while others offered cozy indoor spaces more suitable for Minnesota winters. Set the date for your first book club meeting that night.
Here are a couple of my favorite books to give you ideas.
7. Connect everyone via technology for future updates.
Create a group text thread or send out emails to keep everyone informed about meeting reminders and other book club-related information.
8. Set a meeting cadence and some ground rules.
Book club meetings will vary depending on the book, attendees’ availability, and other life events. We always began by sharing any significant personal news and discussing current events for a while. Then, delve into the book and give everyone a chance to share their thoughts. It’s okay if some people didn’t finish the book, but they should be understanding about potential spoilers.
9. Plan the next meeting when together.
Once the meeting concludes, set the date and book for the next gathering, or use a tool like Doodle to determine a suitable time if many members were absent. Always have a plan in place for the next meeting and remind everyone about the upcoming book.
Congratulations! You’ve successfully brought together a group of people who share common interests and can engage in meaningful discussions about books.
Our book club would likely still be active if I hadn’t left on a one-way flight to New Zealand after quitting my job, and if my partner in crime hadn’t gone on to win a Norwegian reality show and leave the country as well. Nevertheless, we had an amazing year filled with good wine, great books, and even better conversations.
Writing this post has motivated me to take action and try something similar here in Seattle. If you’re a local friend and interested in how to start a book club and have some ideas, let me know! Pin this post if you aren’t quite ready to start today.
